Make it Obsolete
“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.” - Buckminster Fuller
Fuller was, among many other interests, a systems theorist. When he said you have to make parts of a system obsolete to change anything he was talking about social change, and perhaps market changes.
You can’t just kill the Big Four record companies by beating them at their own, rigged game. If you want to replace them, you have to invent file sharing.
But this insight doesn’t only apply to society or markets. You are a “system” too.
If you want change, don’t fight yourself.
The parts of you that procrastinate and overeat are part of the system because they serve a useful function. If you want to replace those parts, you have to discover what their purpose is, and deliberately fulfill that purpose in a new and better way.
Once you do that the old part will fall by the wayside effortlessly. You may not even notice it happening because once you’re successful, you’ll be a whole new person; your new way of being will feel perfectly natural.
If procrastination is a defense mechanism against failure, and overeating is a surrogate for self-esteem, then embracing failure and finding a real reason to love yourself will make those symptoms evaporate.
To really change you can’t fight who you are, you just need to replace the old parts by making them obsolete.
See-thru Purple Panties
See-thru Purple Panties. Not only are they transparent, but they are embarrassing. It's not just unadorned nakedness, it's a type of nakedness that's deliberate and unabashed. It begs to be seen, it calls attention to your most vulnerable self, and says, ***Yes*, this is me. You know you want me.** Wearing see-thru purple panties will either make someone hot or disgust them. And you're fine with either. That's authenticity. Anything less is limp bullshit. (Nice one, Bones.)
How to Break Your Limits
Gema is 23 years old and might be gay. She's not sure. (Not news.) The problem about being maybe-gay is that Gema lives with her hyper-conservative parents, and has no legal rights as an unmarried Muslim woman in Indonesia. She was in a bind. Her parents expect her to find a nice boy (of their choosing probably), get married, and make lots of babies. At 23, she's older than any of her sisters or cousins were when they all got married, and the family is starting to look bad to their friends. But Gema wants to get educated, wants to...